Endometriosis

How far does this go back? Probably when I was having my first period around the age of 13-14. I was very skinny and was bleeding so heavily that I became anaemic. The pain continued over the years with me taking full days off school due to the intensity of it. I never knew at the time that it was anything more than 'the usual' that women had to deal with. I thought it was the same for other girls, and while I knew the extent of the pain was so strong that it just didn't feel 'right', I put up with it. Every month I would, with no exaggeration, curl up into a ball and scream from the pain. I attended A&E throughout my teenage years and early 20's, because I would notice the pain localised to one side and it was unbearable. Each time I was sent away with paracetamol and told "I'm just not convinced it's appendicitis" - which obviously meant it was nothing. I think my parents would get frustrated with me as the nearest hospital wasn't close and every time I went, I would need one of them to give up their time to wait with me to see what the problem was.

It reached a point where the pain became a normal thing for me; it was just something I put up with. I would take a lot of painkillers and not worry.

Tsuki

The number of times I've gone back and forth about posting on here... I think I have an outline of what I want to speak about and then something else happens. I wanted to do a blog entry about my time at uni, but I kept putting that off. Now, I have something else to talk about instead.

Let's talk about that Monday.

Things had been tough for a while. I was feeling this darkness pushing down on me from every direction. Almost like being at the bottom of the ocean with so much pressure pushing down on me.

But I couldn't place it, I didn't know where it was coming from.

I was crying a lot, at least once a day. Sometimes it was from fear (although I'm not sure what I was scared of) and sometimes it was from the pressurised feeling. Maybe the fear was of that feeling? Who knows. Sometimes I would just feel so hopeless, so empty, so scared of everything. I would pull out my hair or punch my head. It was like a sense of frustration.

Welcome to 2024

My first entry of 2024. I bet you thought I'd abandoned you, eh?

Things have been very busy since I last updated. I don't know if I can even fit everything that's happened into one entry but I'll try my best to give an overview.

 

April 2023 - Pt. 2

Things have been challenging lately health-wise. I forgot to mention in my last post that I got a laparoscopy recently to investigate possible endometriosis. Well, an attempt at one. They couldn't do it due to ‘too much internal scar tissue’, whatever that entails. Next step is an MRI to see just how bad it is in there.