I'm sure I've mentioned this in passing but I'm not sure I have ever written an entry dedicated to it.
I've had Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) constantly since I was about 21. When it hit me at 21, I knew immediately what it was. I had suffered it before when I was 17/18. Back then, after a few months of medication, it went away on it's own and I had forgotten about it. But I knew at 21 that this was exactly the same as what I had experienced when I was younger.
I saw my GP many times over the years to try and figure out a way of making the pain stop. I saw a neurologist and had an MRI scan done to make sure it wasn't a tumour or anything damaging my face. Nothing showed up (thankfully) but that also meant I was in this situation where I had this extreme pain and no idea what was causing it.
When I experienced a TN attack, it was sudden and came out of nowhere (unlike some other sufferers, I don't have triggers like eating which cause the pain). It was as if I had a lightning bolt go straight from my temple down the right side of my face, in through my right eye, through the right side of my nose and through my teeth. It didn't last long, but the unexpected nature of it left me in fear of doing almost anything.
I was also scared for a long time that there would never be anything to stop the pain. As I said, many visits with my GP resulted in the amount of medication I'm on currently (the max they can give me apparently) and even then I still wasn't completely out of the woods. I still get pains (although not quite as bad) and I suppose what I've always desired is to be rid of it completely - something that seems unlikely at this point. To control the pain and minimise it, I'm on 8 tablets a day: 6x Carbamazepine 200mg and 2x Pregabalin 150mg. When I started them I felt like a zombie but I've since adjusted to these side effects and thought "it's better than how it was without them."
Now that it's December, the weather has turned colder and so has the wind. As I said, unlike other sufferers, I don't have many triggers that would "bring it on". The only one I notice is that when there's a cold wind blowing against my face, I get a numbness that I wouldn't get otherwise or in the left hand side of my face. A numbness down the areas I would get pain in and a kind of tingle as well that might linger for a while even when I'm back indoors. If you saw me when this is happening, you wouldn't pick up on it. The medications I'm on work very well in keeping the pain away and keeping me going. It's easy for people around me to not remember about it or forget I even have TN.
As far as I'm concerned, I've had this for over 7 years now and it has no sign of letting up. It's always here and likes to really remind me at times that it is. Of course, I'm grateful it's nowhere near as bad and is mainly under control. I still wish, though, that it was gone completely, that I didn't have to take so many tablets for it. I can see people looking at me when I'm taking my medication - the majority of which I take for this condition - and wondering why I take so many when nothing appears outwardly wrong with me. Unless it goes into random remission like it did when I was 18, I'm getting used to the idea it'll always be here and whilst I wish people knew what it was like, I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.