I wrote about this before and it pains me that I have to again but the overwhelming effect it has had on me the past few days has made it impossible to ignore. The issue has become personal.
I did leave Instagram (or at least not use it) for a few months following the announcement of their new policies on images showing self harm. Unfortunately though, it has cropped up again in the news and I've also been viewing the effect of it on others like me who have self harm scars. I've watched videos of women and girls much younger than me on the verge of tears because a picture they posted was censored or deleted altogether. These weren't pictures actively promoting self harm; these were pictures of the people in question feeling happy and confident, going about their day and living their lives (which, especially for someone with depression or self harming behaviour, can be very difficult to do).
A couple of days ago, not believing that Instagram could possibly be that strict, I posted a picture after my hiatus. The picture I posted was from 9 years ago, taken by my boyfriend as I laughed at something he said. I was on holiday and so I was wearing a t-shirt. My left arm and the damage done to it at the time is clearly visible in the image (along with a wide smile and terrible pool hair.) There's absolutely no justification for censoring or even deleting an image like this, right?
However, it was not very long before the image was put behind a "Sensitive Content" screen which claimed it was a photo containing "sensitive content which some people may find offensive or disturbing":
As you can see, in the image's description I put the context for the photo including nothing you could say "encourages" self harm.
After another few hours, I logged in to Instagram and when I did, I was greeted with this message. Apparently just covering the image wasn't enough - it had been deleted.
Does this mean if you have evidence of self harm (or, I'm sure in some cases, *presumed* self harm) your posting is limited on Instagram? Are you limited to wearing long sleeves any time you want to take a picture of yourself? Or just not show your scars at all?
I can't speak for everyone who has a history of self harm, but for me it took a long time to have the confidence to even wear short sleeves in public. In this picture it was 25°C, I was on holiday and having a good time. I wasn't really thinking about covering up (for one of the few times in my life) and I can say this is the happiest picture I have of myself.
Instagram's new policy is a slap in the face for anyone who is recovering from self harm. It tells us: "Even when you've stopped, we're not going to let you forget about it." Again, I can't speak for others, but for me having a picture of myself happy removed because of scars on my arms that I can't help (maybe they want us to blur them out?) is triggering in itself. I've felt unwanted and unwelcome on a website I've otherwise had no problems with. It's made me feel low and made me think I should stick to cat pictures online - no-one wants to see Rachael with all her scars. It's upset me, it's upset my friends and my family, people who can look at an image like that and see through the scars to what is genuinely going on in that picture.
Furthermore, there's much to be said about the lack of distinction between an image that actively promotes hurting yourself (yes, I know they exist and yes, I think they should be removed) and one that doesn't. It shows that Instagram is just going to tar everyone with the same brush. This isn't the kind of website I want to be associated with and, if anything, it shows what an incompetent position they're taking on this very serious matter.
This whole debacle has taken such a toll on me - silly as that sounds - that I decided to delete my Instagram (something I should have done the first time around.)
I've also made images and posts on other websites "Friends Only", you know, just in case they "disturb" anyone.